The Power of Tabling It

Friday was another absolutely infuriating, frustrating, hair-tearing-out-day full of phone calls, in-person trips, and dead ends trying to figure out how to get my health insurance to cover the medication. That morning, I had made a phone call and come up with a solution that I thought might work. Unfortunately, no such luck. By late afternoon, any hope I felt that morning had evaporated. I felt as if my life was a giant sink and I was being sucked unceremoniously down the drain. And, then (to mix metaphors completely), I made the purposeful and empowering, but completely uncharacteristic, decision to table it for the weekend. It was hard, especially the first 45 minutes,  because I desperately wanted to vent, rant, cry, and gnash my teeth to anyone who would listen. But, that would have added to my misery and I had already spent several hours that day focused on trying to resolve this issue to know avail. 

After a good cry, I forced myself to reopen my computer, to bring the current chapter up to the screen, and to refocus on my dissertation work and just those gestures helped immensely. The thing is, generally, I am a genuinely terrible table-er. In part this is because I am absolutely convinced that tabling will never work. How can not focusing on the problem even for a short period of time work or possibly be useful? Or, how can I possibly table X, Y, or Z when anyone can see it is WRECKING my life and I am at its mercy? But table it for 48 hours, I did. And helpful it was. 

So, here's what I did instead of agonize: The next day, I took a bike ride and stopped by the bike store to pick up a tiny bag for my seat to hold my wallet, keys, and phone), so I can bike unencumbered. I rode the beautiful course around the golf course (3 miles). I attended a lovely baby shower. I made dinner for a friend. I talked on the phone and I cleaned my house and made it more comfortable and presentable. 

And guess what? Today, Monday, I feel genuinely better. Imagine that. Proving, once again, that sometimes what I instinctually do is absolutely the wrong approach and that what I am convinced won't help can be absolutely necessary.