I've Been Loving You So Long

Most days, I love being single. Some days, I am even downright greatful to be single. Other times--moments, or even days, I looong for "my person." 

I had another great weekend, this holiday weekend: Long days of restful, lazy contentment. I soaked in the warm days upon days of sunshine. I read, I made some good meals, I took walks, and I biked (my very first full 8 miles, go me go!). It was deeply spacious and restful. 

Still, by the end of the weekend, I longed for "my person". The person that not only I could tell about the weekend, but who had experienced the weekend with me and who I could say to, "Wasn't that just so gooood?" And, who would KNOW exactly what I was talking about because she had been there and enjoyed the spacious, precious time as much as I did. 

My person, who would let me just talk, blab really, about my fears of the illness, someone who would just listen and allow me the space and dignity to work through my own illness dilemmas. My person, who would help me strategize about the illness and come up with how "we're going to manage". My person, who when my eyesight got wobbly or my hands got shaky, would willingly be my eyesight, would be my hands. 

Dance, Dance, Dance!

Last night, there was a band in town I wanted to see. Afromotive, an afrobeat band from Asheville, North Carolina, was playing at a local bar. One fan described them as, "James Brown went to Africa". A combination, then, of traditional African music with funk. I definitely wanted to check them out. When I couldn't get any of my friends to join me, I hesitated. Well, I am tired anyway, I thought. Plus, I can't go to a bar alone, right? And, then, I went.  I hustled through the rain, paid the $4.00 cover charge, and entered the crowded bar around 10:30. They were good, really, really good. The musicianship--two trombones, keyboard, bass guitar, traditional drums, and a drum set, was top notch and the joint was jumping. I was there alone and I got up the guts to dance within a few minutes of walking through the door!  I danced, I grooved, and I moved. And, then, just before 1:00 a.m., I headed home. I felt revitalized and rejuvenated. 

Lately, I have felt like a tree spreading out her roots in search of more nutritive soil. And, I have been taking note of moments and hours, even, like last night, when I feel fully nourished. My friendship circle has been expanding, I have been taking more risks, and I have been rewarded with the joys that growing and stretching can bring. I've been channeling the bravery in me that I know that I have and I am realizing that bravery is a muscle that must be exercised.

Amen, Amen, Amen!