Truly Blessed

I had a great weekend--not to sound too grand, but the kind of weekend that reminds me of all the aspects of my life that I cherish. I spent Saturday, Saturdaying--a satisfying mix of cleaning my house, wandering through the local hardware store selecting herb plants--cilantro, basil, and oregano, and then that night going with friends to see the cutest, most charming lesbian singer-songwriter at a local venue. I hadn't been totally sure of her music when I listened to her on-line, but--oh! her voice!--strong and smooth. The stories she told in between songs, her dimples, her intense gaze as she caught my eye (and that of other audience members) and her wonderful guffawing laugh that filled the small venue. And, then, there was the audience itself--full of lesbians--many couples. Short hair and earrings and masculine femininity. And, I had that moment where I looonged and yearned to be apart of that kind of space again--both the space, where a woman puts her arm around me or her hand on my thigh in a public place--and the space of being part of a larger lesbian community. 

As a perfect capstone for the weekend, I had a really lovely early Sunday morning bike ride. A friend and I met for breakfast and then loaded up our bikes onto my trunk rack and drove out to bike and explore the new bike path I discovered last week. It was a shivery cold morning and a watery sun hung over the horizon. We road along side the sputtering creek and noted not only the leftover dried berries on the leaves, but also the first signs of spring--delicate new, green growth. Over a several mile ride through partial farm country--we also saw sheep, cows and several baby calves, several geese flying low, a robin hopping along the grass. However, more than even the sights of the ride, I was touched by the spirit of the ride.   

I am out of shape and very much a beginner and my friend is a seasoned athlete. So, when we got to the sloping, long and slow upgrade of the hills, I got off to walk and suggested she go ahead up the hill with out me. I felt shy and embarrassed by my need to walk, but I knew it was so early in the season and I had just started riding again, so it was best not to push it. She declined my offer and instead, dismounted to walk with me. We walked. Then, we mounted and road on a flat part of the trail. We rode. Then we dismounted and walked a hill. Then, we rode again. And dismounted again at the next hill. Up and up we snaked. At the top, the very top of several ascents, we stopped and got ready to return. We pushed off and sped down those hills with a blissful--wheeeeeeeeeeee--thrilled to be racing down hill at full speed--we both love a good descent. 

I was so touched by my friend's patient, generous spirit toward me. She made it easy for me to lose my self-consciousness and to have confidence that I will be able to complete the 25 mile ride that we're embarking on together in October. As she reminded me later, "We're a team". 

This ride served as a perfect metaphor for what I am looking for in my relationships, I want someone who is willing to stay present and to walk with me, even on the hard, slow, uphill parts. I am not ready yet to embark on a serious romantic relationship, but when I am, I am grateful to have a reminder of what a genuine partnership feels like:

Sweet, sweet bliss.