I had my follow-up appointment with the neurologist yesterday. Truthfully, I still do not know any more than I did three months ago when I had my attack. During that first episode, I had double-vision, three brain lesions, and my spinal tap results showed inflammation, so there is a decent chance I will ultimately be diagnosed with MS. My neurologist, though, careful and conservative doctor that he is, has cautioned me that he has been fooled before. More specifically, he has had patients who, mysteriously, only have one episode and never develop MS. Therefore, rather than rush to judgement, he prefers to wait another three months, until November, at which point we will have a second follow-up appointment and he will order an MRI. If the MRI shows more lesions (or, if prior to that I have a second episode), he will diagnose me. Although other neurologists might rush me onto medication (research has shown that the sooner medication is started, the better chance it has to alter the disease path), he wants to know for sure that it is MS before he suggests treatment, because the medication is daily, life-long, and toxic. I am reassured by his conservative approach.
At this point, I am feeling optimistic, energetic, and simply buoyed by several months without any symptoms. I am also feeling impatient, extremely impatient. I simply do not want to dwell on, agonize, or conjecture about what may or may not happen. I am feeling good, I have ALOT to do, and I simply want to get on with it!
My first and foremost immediate priority is finishing my dissertation. Moreover, I want to post my dating profile and I am starting a new position in two weeks. There is so much to look forward to.
In the mean time, I will amp up my self-care: adequate rest and naps; wholesome food; daily walks are all on my agenda."Gentle, little grasshopper," I tell myself, "More will be revealed soon."
1 comment:
First of all, thank you so much for posting again. I've been anxiously waiting for another dispatch from the Whimsical Bus.
Second of all, I'm just as glad as you are that you've had no new episodes, but the inconclusivity is maddening. Good object lesson, I guess. We are forever wanting definition and certainty but what else have we learned as women of faith but that it doesn't work like that? Life is lived in the spaces. Thank you for sharing. Still holding you in the Light.
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